Archer Arrowsmith - Human Scout (272 points)
Argua - Half-Orc Barbarian (271 points)
Masha Deathfoot - Human Martial Artist (265 points)
Puddin' Noddington - Gnome Thief (299 points)
Mahk Strawngmussle - Human Labourer (76 points)
Quintin Nenno - Dragonborn Swordmage (250 points)
Vaelcor Treehippie - Human Druid (280 points)
Jahn the Bear - Bear (209 points)
NPCs:
Jenny - Human Cook (62 points)
Melos 1st 2546, Sunset: Hot Spring City Ruins, The Highest Terrace
Quintin tried to see if the park with the spiders and their webs was under some sort of enchantment, but it didn't look magical to him (a theme which would continue). Trying to make the most of the remaining time before night truly fell, the party headed towards the colossal sparkling building with the shining dome at the very top of the city.
The 30' front arch opened to an overgrown garden courtyard of flowering tropical plants in a variety of shapes and colours, but the party stopped their advance when Puddin's Danger Sense activated. Vaelcor went in to take a look at the plants, but only found out that the dark blue sunflowers were dangerous when one of them opened slightly and emitted a wave of maple-flavoured pollen which instantly knocked him out.
Puddin' held her breath, ran into the garden, and tied a rope around Vaelcor so that Argua could drag him out. Vaelcor was slapped awake, and tried to cast Identify Plant but crit failed, and just before he finished casting it, his hands burst into flame for a single point of injury. The party looked for alternate entrances on the front, and Puddin' spotted some balconies 30' up. Argua declared this to be a waste of time and ran in, cut the plant down, spreading its pollen everywhere, then went and killed a second one as well.
The party walked past the garden holding their breath, but Quintin and Jahn still fell asleep; Argua ran back in and dragged Quintin out, but Jahn was too heavy. Vaelcor eventually decided to cast Animate Plant on a tree, which bent its branches to lift the bear out and into the tiled antechamber past the garden, where the rest of the party was waiting. Quintin and Jahn were woken up, and the party rested for Vaelcor to regain FP. On the far side of the chamber where they sat, two narrow passages forked away; both turned 90 degrees and had a man-sized relief of a seahorse on the wall, to the left, a fat seahorse, to the right, a thin one.
Once done resting, the party headed to the "thin" fork, but stopped again when Puddin' spotted a pair of runes in the elvish script on the floor that spanned the narrow hallway. Quintin took a look and figured that the runes would cast some kind of force field, and could discriminate targets in some way. The party argued about who should test it ("Jenny hasn't done anything lately..." "I'm carrying 100lbs of loot!"), but eventually Vaelcor cast Beast Summoning to get a rat. The rat was herded towards the runes, and when it tried to cross them it seemed blocked by an invisible force field, but was not harmed.
Quintin tried Strike of Negation, but though his sword seemed to pass through the force field, it was not dispelled; a second attempt also failed. After that, the party decided to try just walking through; Vaelcor, Quintin, and Mahk were held back by the force field, but everybody else (including Jahn) made it through just fine. Argua figured out that these were just gendered changing rooms, and that the "fat" seahorse was actually a pregnant male. Quintin lit his torch for light and, sure enough, the men made it through the other side.
The party reunited past the ruined changing rooms in a vast, unlit chamber dominated by a pair of stagnant pools. Close to the front in either pool, a feminine statue of indeterminate race stood, each with one-half of a silvery tiara sporting sparkling gems, and on the left side of the wall behind them was a painting of a nude half-orc woman riding a clam out of the ocean. They decided to leave everything alone for now and headed to the left.
Shortly, they came to a small archway which led to a smaller pool, with engravings of elves resting in water on the walls. A closer look revealed that some of the engraved elves' jewellery was actually filled with gold, but again, they ignored it and continued on. Back in the large chamber, a vine as thick as a human thigh was lying on the tiled floor, having emerged from a wide, ruined drain. Despite Argua and Vaelcor's assurances that it was totally safe, Archer shot the vine with an arrow.
The vine writhed in pain, and the party backed away as it retreated into the drain and vanished. After waiting a bit to see if it came back, they continued on to another side chamber, with a tiled bench emerging from the wall, and a pile of stones and rotted wood in a corner. In the center of the chamber was a short golden statuette of a seated male dwarf, his head resting on his hand in thought. Puddin' poked it with a 10' pole, and after nothing horrible happened, activated her Obscure ability, grabbed it and shoved it in Mahk's backpack.
Back into the main chamber, the party continued on until coming to a well-lit and pristine staircase lined with red velvet carpet, with gold starfish and shellfish decorations hanging on the walls. An incredibly life-like mosaic of a confused looking ogre with a skeletal grin decorated the wall to the right of the staircase, but there wasn't an easy way to steal it.
After Quintin assured her that there was no magic at work, Puddin' went up to grab a starfish, but her hand passed right through it. She turned around to announce that they were just illusions, only to see that not only had the party vanished, but that the bathhouse was filled with elves and back in its full glory, magical light reflecting off of the gold in the walls.
The Resplendent Bathhouse
The crowd of elves looked real, and seemed to just be enjoying the baths. Some wore scandalous bathing suits, while others wore nothing at all. All sported at least some gold on their persons, in the form of rings, chains (not a great idea when swimming), or piercings. Puddin' cursed.
The Ruined Bathhouse
Puddin' had disappeared when reaching for the starfish. Archer took her default action and shot an arrow at the staircase; it embedded into the wall, then vanished after a second. Quintin reconsidered his diagnosis, and announced that magic may be afoot. They shouted for Puddin', but she did not reply.
The Resplendent Bathhouse
Puddin' consulted her memory of how magic worked, but remembered only that she didn't like it. More and more elves seemed to be entering the baths through the entrance the party had come from. She tried to talk to some of the elves, but they did not take any notice of her, so she went upstairs. The second floor was split into two "halves"; the right looked to have more side rooms with baths, judging by the tile floors, while the left had "normal" floors, and several sets of heavy wooden doors blocking the way.
Puddin' tried to open the closest wooden door, but, despite her very corporeal appearance, passed right through as though she was a ghooooost. Her ghostly powers were weak, though, as the walls seemed to still block her. Proceeding fully past the door, Puddin' found a theatre, where a play was being performed for a fairly light audience.
The Ruined Bathhouse
Quintin was tied off to a rope, the other end was given to Argua, and he moved into the staircase, towards the golden starfish. As he approached, he vanished, and the rope went limp. Argua reeled it back, but Quintin was gone. Argua and Masha soon followed at a slower pace, trying some "trick" that involved throwing pebbles in front of yourself to "trick" the magic, but vanished as well. That left Archer and Vaelcor (AKA the only two PCs without Sense of Duty (Adventuring Companions)) in darkness, and, after lighting a lantern, they decided to wait for a bit and then leave if none of the others came back.
The Resplendent Bathhouse
Puddin' turned to leave the theatre, and noticed a fresco of a nude dragonborn that looked a lot like Quintin holding a sword imperiously that she could swear hadn't been there a moment before. She poked it with her dagger, and a bit of plaster came off, making this the first object she could meaningfully interact with.
Meanwhile, Quintin found himself on the staircase, and went to go talk to some of the elves ("Half of them are naked, and half of them are half-naked") on the first floor, but they didn't notice him, and his hand passed straight through when he tried to grab one. Argua and Masha appeared on the staircase, and tried walking down backwards, but this did not succeed at getting them back to the "real" world, so they went to talk to Quintin, who told them that they were pretty much ghosts here. Argua decided to test this by touching an elf anyway, and confirmed that they were indeed ghostly.
While discussing what to do, the party realized that the feminine statues with the half-tiaras were missing. Puddin' left the theatre, passed some "properly dressed" elves who were (probably) having some serious discussion, then headed back downstairs and found the others. She told them about the Quintin fresco she had seen, and led them up to the theatre, where the elves on stage were taking a bow. Quintin touched the fresco, and both he and the fresco vanished.
The Ruined Bathhouse
Quintin appeared at the bottom of the staircase, and told Archer and Vaelcor what had happened. They decided to wait for the others to find their own artworks and reappear, not knowing how long it'd take. With nighttime imminent anyway, they decided to just pitch camp at the bottom of the staircase. If they were attacked, they would just retreat into the staircase, as Quintin "has the knowledge of The Ghostlands".
The Resplendent Bathhouse
The party decided to search for their own paintings (Puddin': "Oh no, what if I'm too beautiful to be represented by art?!"), but their plans suddenly changed when they emerged back into the hallway and saw a gorgeous blue-skinned woman with flowing water for hair heading towards them. They all noted a striking resemblance to the statues in the main pools in the "real" world.
The woman headed into the theatre, and they followed, witnessing a meeting between her and the "serious" elves that Puddin' had ran into earlier. They spoke for a while and then gave her a tiara sparkling with diamonds, which looked to match the two halves from the real world. As the meeting continued, Puddin' noticed something odd: all of the elves made physical contact with the blue woman at some point during the meeting.
They followed the blue woman downstairs, where the waiting crowd of elves cheered, and golems were setting up rows of seating at the edge of the main pools, and raising curtains 50' into the pools. The woman signed autographs, shook hands, and made her way through the crowd "backstage" behind the curtains, and the party followed. Here, several dozen blue-skinned, beautiful women seemingly made of water were stretching and doing vocal warmups, while a single mermaid checked in with each of them in turn.
Argua remarked that they should watch the play, but she'd leave if nobody was dead within 2 minutes. Soon enough, the show started; the blue woman walked forth into a spotlight singing a rapturous melody and carrying a vase, from which she slowly poured the other blue-skinned, water-women whose voices rose to join hers in a chorus. The performance was beyond anything the party had ever seen, with even Argua begrudgingly admitting that this was good for a show with no murders.
As the show continued, the elves started to sing along, but something was strange; despite the fact that she didn't speak Ancient Elvish, Puddin' noticed (with a Lucked Observation roll) that they seemed to be singing the song backwards. At the back of the crowd, the golems now manoeuvred empty paintings with gilded frames into place around the pool, and slowly, the water-women seemed to be pulled towards the edges. The song started to waver as they realized something wasn't right, before they suddenly snapped outwards and into portraits, frozen in time.
The main blue woman was still free, however, and turned the water around her to her advantage, boiling, freezing, and slashing away at dozens if not hundreds of elves in the crowd (Argua: *golf clap*), but it was not enough. She split into two halves, which solidified into statues, and the world dissolved into water.
Argua, Masha, and Puddin' again found themselves at the bottom of the stairs, and quickly realized they all looked slightly transparent; not a good sign.
Notes:
Holding your breath before going into an area of airborne poison/whatever now gives a flat +5 to the roll; it might still go up your nose.
The roll for where the art of a character goes is random, and yet Quintin's landed in the exact room Puddin' was standing in, which was hilariously lucky.
Argua's/Masha's pebble trick was apparently from Stargate. It did not work.
Quintin had a fun idea to try out Spectral Weapon as a "ghost" to stab the elves, though he didn't end up trying it.
XP was 1
1 for loot (the golden dwarf statue)
1 for Quintin for escaping the other bathhouse
MVP went to Vaelcor for his Animate Plant idea
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