Big Po - Hungry Hungry Sumotori
Michelangelo - Friendly Capoeirista
Roberto King - Murderous Dagger Fighter
Dan da Ying - Helpful Eagle-Stylist
"Planning"
The party spent a long time debating what to do next (an hour real time), and during the conversation, Atsa agreed to help attack the Black Riders, though they only had 6 warriors in fighting shape after their multiple battles. Mike still worried that these might just be rogue elements, and woke up one of the Black Riders. He tried to get information ("Uhh, I use Sex Appeal"), but failed, and the Rider insisted that he was Cherokee. Instead of letting Roberto kill him, Mike knocked him out.
After discarding plans to hollow out a cow and use it as a trojan horse, they retreated back to the Navajo camp to rest for the night. The next morning, they rode back to just out of line of sight of the Black Fort the next morning (though, as usual, the horses didn't like Dan, and he was forced to walk). One of the Navajo warriors crawled over the hill to scout, and came back ten minutes later to report that the Fort wasn't on any kind of high alert, which seemed strange.
Faint Benny Hill Music In The Distance
Once again, Po dove into the river that ran beside the Fort and swam up, unnoticed. Then, he tried to climb the wall, but fell off, and the noise of his fall attracted a pair guards, who only asked him to go away. After realizing that they didn't recognize him, Po claimed to be thirsty from walking through the desert, and the guards pointed out the river right beside him (and that he was drenched from his swim). He then asked for one of the guard's hats, but, understandably, they didn't want to give him a hat, and told him to leave or be fired upon.
After Po wasted their time some more, the guards gave him a final warning and took aim with their bows, which prompted him to sprint around the outside of the fort, drawing the fire (and attention) of every guard on the walls. The rest of the party figured that Po had given them "the signal", and slowly snuck towards the fort. At 30m, a guard on the wall spotted the rest of the party, and the emergency gong was sounded; by that point, Po had "only" been hit by 5 arrows, and continued to run in circles.
The rest of the party broke into a sprint to the walls, and only Roberto and one Navajo were hit with arrows. Mike made it to the gate first, and discovered that it was locked. He turned and got ready to help Dan jump up, only for Po to run around the corner of the fort, pick Mike up, and threw him up... and directly into the wall. Mike managed to catch a grip with one hand, and flipped himself up onto the wall with Acrobatics, ending up prone beside 8 guards. Dan got ready for Po to throw him, and Roberto... got ready for Po to throw him.
The Navajo got their bows ready, while up on the wall, the guards closest to Mike switched their bows for spears. Mike sprang to his feet, and looked down into the courtyard to see a man in black leathers and a centurion helmet mounted on a black stallion rapidly knock an arrow to his bow, while escorted by a pair of swordsmen. A group of 6 guards with spears and shields were also running from the far side of the fort. Rather than get stabbed by 4 guards, Mike jumped into the courtyard, slid down a canvas tarp, and ran over to the gate.
Round Two, Fight!
Po grabbed and threw Dan, then grabbed Roberto, who had actually decided he didn't want to be thrown and wriggled in Po's grasp enough to stay on the ground("Wait, don't throw m-" "No, you go up"). The Navajo returned fire at the guards on the walls and hit two, while Dan found himself under attack from the 4 spearmen on the walls, but avoided all of their attacks with a dodge and three parries. Following Mike's lead, Dan slid down the canvas tarp to the courtyard. Po and two of the Navajo were hit with arrows from the archers on the walls, one fatally.
The black horseman fired an arrow at Mike after using Zen Archery, but he made the (Lucked) Drop and Dodge. Mike then regained his feet with an Acrobatic Stand, then removed the bar from the gate, opened it, and ran through. Roberto furiously pointed at the door shouting "The door's open, look!", and Po let him go (though Roberto did nothing but yell for the rest of the round due to Bad Temper) before running past Mike and into the fort, followed by the Navajo.
The guards on the wall either knocked arrows to their bows or moved to pick up the bows they'd dropped, while the black centurion fired an arrow at Po which ended up non-fatally hitting one of the Navajo behind him. Mike and Dan moved to back up Po, though they let him stay ahead as a meat shield, while Roberto ran into the fort and over to the stairs up to the wall. Po and Mike both got shot by the guards on the walls, and the reinforcing spearmen finally arrived behind the black centurion.
Roberto made it to the top of the stairs just as the guards up their finished knocking their next volley of arrows, while Po Slammed into one of the swordsmen, who stabbed him for 1 damage and then dodged. Po continued past, ending up beside the black centurion. The swordsman Po had slammed stepped back but missed a retaliatory thrust, while a pair of the spearmen stabbed him.
The archers on the wall unloaded a volley at Roberto, who dodged two, deflected two with Parry Missile Weapons, dodged a third, but was finally hit by one arrow, though not for enough to take him out. The black centurion dropped his bow and readied a shortsword with Fast-Draw, then charged at Dan; his mount missed the Slam, but despite a Feverish Defense, he landed a slash to Dan's neck, though for only 1 damage.
Dan tried to grab at the black centurion, but he parried, while Mike Evaluated and stepped closer. Roberto moved up and cut down two of the bowmen on the wall, who very much regretted not switching to spears. Po grappled the spearmanon his left ("This guy?" "No, my left. Wait, no, your left.") while making sure not to expose his back. The surviving Navajo took out another two bowmen on the wall.
Po's grappled spearman tried to escape but ultimately stood no chance, while the rest of the goons moved to surround him. The black centurion's stallion bit at Dan, but missed, while the centurion made another Feint, followed by a Deceptive Mighty Blow, and Dan failed his Retreating Acrobatic Feverish Dodge.
Notes:
Throughout this campaign, Kung Fu Fighting has been played many times during combat. This time, Mike convinced Roberto to put it on loop. After the first 30 minutes, he seemed to regret it.
While discussing how best to attack the horse, Mike mentioned that, in addition to feet, "horses also have groins". Roberto is a fan of stabbing it in the head (it works in Mount & Blade). To help them gauge how hard crippling would be, I have told them that horses have less HP than Po (28), but more than Dan (11).
When the horse tried to bite Dan:
Mike: "That horse is mean."
Po: "Guys, what if the horse was the boss the whole time?"
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